


Hedgehogs Dilemma

by kyozakis



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akira is sad, Angst, Gen, he loves his momma, idk what to tag um, persona angst, sad boy hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:42:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23064178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyozakis/pseuds/kyozakis
Summary: As close as you want to be to someone, you’re always afraid you’ll hurt them. Hedgehog’s Dilemma.Basically just a nice but sad moment with Akira and his mom before he was sent to Tokyo.
Kudos: 41





	Hedgehogs Dilemma

Life had never been easy with Akira. He never felt close to his friends or family. Akira had friends, but he wasn't really sure if they had him. Girls only liked him for his looks, and where turned off by his lack of emotions. Boys where interested in his mysterious aura, but looked away when they found out he was just an ordinary person, just like them. 

His family wasn't very different. His mother was often sick, and his father was always working. It was Akiras job to help his mother. He would often miss school to help at home, or skipped studying to clean and make dinner, even if it was only for him and his mother. He knew his parents loved him very much, but they never said 'I love you'. 

There where moments when Akira wanted to say it, but it never felt right coming out. He could name multiple times when his mother would give him a loving look, and it always gave him a warm feeling in his chest that made him feel loved, despite not really knowing what it meant to be loved. 

Akira always wanted to reciprocate these feelings with his mother, but he didn't know how. He didn't know how to get such fondness in his eyes, in fact, many insisted his eyes where devoid of any emotions. It wasn't true though. If eyes where really like windows into the soul, then something was definitely wrong. Akira knew what feelings where. He knew how to be mad and sad and happy, and everything in between. The problem was, he didn't know how to make it clear. 

The only time he ever herd I love you from his parents, was the night before he was sent off to Tokyo. 

He remembers that day as a blur. By the end of it all, he didn't really know what was good or bad. The line that divides good people and bad people used to be so clear, but now it was smudged. Like some people had exceptions, but some didn't. 

After hours of numb thinking in his room, Akira decided to go see his parents for the first time since the jury decided his destiny for the next year. The family hadn't bothered for dinner. Even if they wanted it, it's not like Akira was in a position to cook. He'd tried to leave his room before, but he could only make it so far, before collapsing in a ball of regret on the carpet. 

As he crept his way down the stairs, he herd his parents talking. He was too numb to register what they said, or what those words meant, but he knew one thing. His mom was concerned. Her tone was different. It was something he only herd when she would comfort his father after a hard day of work. He never remembered his father responding to her. Maybe he got his emotional problems from his dad. But even if, he'd seen his father show an array of emotions before. Akira could never understand how he had so many faces for so many people, and so many moments. 

As he walked into the kitchen, his mothers worried look disappeared without a sign of worry. "Akira!" She smiled. "How are you holding up, baby?" her expression was soft, as well was her voice. He responded dully. "I'm breathing." 

She pressed the back of her hand to his forehead, and frowned. "You feel so clammy, I'll go get you a towel." she said as she walked off. He didn't have time to deny the offer. The room felt uncomfortable with only his father with him. Like his mother was a blanket, covering from him from the snow, but the wind blew it away, and he's exposed to the hard breath of the cold. 

His father shifted his weight as he turned to look at Akira. He clenched his fists, expecting a thump on the head for all the trouble he's caused over the past few days. He felt his body shake under the glare of the older man. His father was always the most demanding of the two. He was the reason Akira was always in line. Akira was pulled out of his thoughts when his father spoke up. 

"I'm disappointed in you.", was all he said, before he walked away, and out the door. 

He really just left. Did he? There's no way. There's no way he would just leave. He can't just leave mom like that. He can't do that. He better come back. Please come back, dad. Please don't leave. I promise I'll do better, dad. 

"Akira?" his mother asked, and she rounded the corner to see him. "Where'd your father go?" she asked. Akira couldn't use his words, so he pointed to the door. 

She huffed, sat Akira down in a chair. "He can be so petty sometimes, but don't take it to personally, sweetheart." she reassured him as she pressed the wash cloth to his head. The cold water felt nice against his dry face. 

They stayed like this for a while. Just letting it happen. His mother watching in silence as his thoughts piled, and piled, and piled, and she patiently waited for the moment his wall of dignity would break. And when that moment came, she fully embraced him. 

He cried harder then he could ever remember. No cut, bruise nor fall he experienced as a child could explain his pain in that moment. Akira thought he'd never feel anything like that ever again, and it took all his might to bring all his feelings to shore. He screamed and clung to his mothers shirt like a needy baby. 

She never pushed him away. 

He pushed himself deeper and deeper into her embrace. He did it until his voice was hoarse, and when it finally died out, he whimpered in her grasp, and for the first time she herd her whisper 'I love you'

With those words, Akira hugged her even harder. Yet, even after all of this, he realized something. 

No matter how much I hold her, or push my face into her shoulder, there will always be a space between us. 

Does that mean I'm alone?

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if this is a little bad! I mostly just write in my spare time, and never really post it. I might post a little more on here, but I’m not really sure atm


End file.
